匍匐记On All Fours
她的手指是纤细的，她的臂膀是柔弱的，她的胸腔是鼓鼓的，她的肌肤是软软的，看起来还有一点干涩。
Her fingers are delicate, her shoulders feeble and weak, her chest chubby, her skin very soft, and seemingly dry and wrinkled.
她的头上被套了一个眼罩，看起来像一个缩小版的蒙面大侠，或是佐罗。
Her head is covered with an eyeshade. She looks like a dwindled masked knight, or Zorro.
她被放置在一个上下蓝光的有机玻璃罩子里面，赤裸着身子，像是仍然在母体里的样子。
She is put in a shelter made of organic glass in blue healing light. Lying stark naked, she seems still to be in embryo.
她的未被蒙上的头脸部分散落着稀疏的头发，或者说是胎毛，像所有刚出生的婴儿一样，皮肤褶皱着，与她的稚嫩形成了一种奇异反差的组合。
Sparse hair or rather fetal membrane is scattered on her uncovered face and head. Like all other newborn babies, her skin is wrinkled in queer contrast to her baby look.
在摘下眼罩的时候，她的紧锁的小眉头显示出一种婴童特有的睿智，传达着一种难以言说的美。
Stripped of her eyeshade, her little eyebrows tightly knitted feature wisdom peculiar to infants, conveying some charm beyond description.
皮肤被放置在生硬的有机玻璃上，蒙面大侠的身子侧歪着，像是在昏睡中试图辨清这个初来乍到，尚显生疏的世界，在迷蒙中分辨着来自隔空传来的阵阵音响；在昏睡中猛然惊觉的一阵颤动中，她的小胳膊、小手，和纤弱的腿脚猛烈地扭动，腰肢随着辗转翻动，动作如果放在成人身上显得怪异，但在她的身上却如同在母体中那样自然，充满着一种来自原生世界的谐趣。
Her skin is put on a piece of organic-glass so stiff. Her body lying slantingly as the masked knight, she seems while asleep trying to figure out what this strange world is as a new comer. In bewilderment she seems trying to differentiate the insulated sound of music. She wakes up from sleep, violently wavering her small arms and hands as well as her delicate legs and feet, turning over her waist in the meanwhile. In an adult, her body movement would seem very awkward, but with her, it is as natural as if in embryo, full of fun from the primitive world.
“哇~~”一记奶声，隔着蓝光的有机玻璃大箱子，蒙面大侠的腰肢乱颤，要喂奶了。
Sending forth a cry, the masked knight shakes her waist violently. It is time to feed milk!
我把她鲜嫩的小手放在我的手指头上，她的修长的手指自然地蜷缩，紧紧地握着我的手指，小而有力，在她紧闭的眼睑和蠕动的嘴唇上，似乎可以辨别出这个来自初来乍到的世界中的陌生人，和她有着万丝千缕的渊源。
I put her fresh and tender little hand on my finger-tip, her long fingers would naturally roll up, gripping my finger tightly and energetically. Seen from her closed eyelids and wriggling lips, she seems to have figured out the strange world as a new comer. This is a world with which she is entangled by innumerable original ties.
她似乎懵懂得一无所知，又好像明了得无所不知。赤裸的身体从蓝光箱子里取出，眼罩摘下，她的眉眼间、鼻翼间、唇舌间，无处不是我和妻子的印记。我总觉得她的略略蹙紧的眉宇间在探究着人间事，怀揣着不解的迷梦，像北岛的那句陈年旧诗，“ 连接着每个梦 ，用网捕捉着我们的欢乐之谜”。
She seems so innocent as if utterly ignorant, and yet so intelligent as if she is aware of almost everything. Taken out of the blue light box and stripped of the eyeshades, her stark naked body features my birthmarks as well as those of my wife, no matter in her eyes or eyebrows, in the wing of her nose, or in her lips and tongue. Anyway, I invariably feel she is probing the secular world. She is doing so with her somewhat knitted eyebrows, taking along with her some bewilderment, and arresting all traces of net information hidden in the enigma of our happiness.
也或许她一切均已明了。
Or she is probably aware of everything.
在她紧握我的手指的片刻，她知道这个陌生人的血脉渊源，她毫无条件、毫无保留地信赖，无需探索久远时空之前，前生今世与这个陌生人的关联。
At the very moment she grips my finger she becomes aware of her blood relations with me her stranger. She trusts me unconditionally and without any reservation. She is so doing without having to probe her previous and present blood relations with me past and present.
取景记 Taking Pictures
我像一个偷偷摸摸的取景人，趁着她明晰的记忆尚未形成之前，帮她观照着这个陌生的世界，偷偷地把种子种下去，等着五年，或者十年之后她从某一个记忆的土壤中挖掘出来；好比农民起义军先把一个“苍天已死，黄天当立”之类的碑牌埋进去，再挖出来。这个记忆的碑牌所铭记的文字，将绵绵不绝，从前生今世，直到遥遥无期。
Acting like a burglar, I help her find views with the strange world when she is still devoid of memory. I sow seeds stealthily and wait for five or ten years’ time. By then she will dig some of buried seeds out from her memory, just like peasant rebels digging out the placards inscribed with prayer to God for a dynastic change. True or not, such inscriptions will last forever and ever.
这是一个属于旁观证人和当事人之间未经允许的约定，一个昭然天下的机密。
This is an open and yet forbidden client-witness agreement to be verified or falsified some day in the future. .
受难记 The Passion of Child Delivery
生的欢欣，与产的痛楚，交织在这间小小的医院房间。
Child delivery is a mixture of happiness of birth and throes of pains. They are all interwoven in the little wardroom.
在几个小时之前，她的母亲经过阵阵痛楚之后被从手术室抬回这个房间。
Her mom in the throes of child delivery for hours was admitted into the Caesarean theater, and was later carried back into the ward.
世间有三个受难的人物：耶稣、切•格瓦拉，和临产的母亲。
In this world three types of figures are said to be ordeal sufferers: Jesus Christ, Ernesto Guevara Che and the parturient.
耶稣拖着血淋淋的躯体，背负着十字架，在耶路撒冷受难；在炎炎烈日炙烤的十字架上，目光中流露着对世间的悲悯。
Dragging his blood-soaked body, and with a cross lying heavily across his shoulders, Jesus Christ was crucified in the scorching sun in Jerusalem, revealing pitiful compassion for the secular world.
切•格瓦拉在玻利维亚游击战被捕后，在临刑受难前，躺在敌军龌龊的床头，赤裸着胸膛，胡须凌乱，目光中透露着安宁、凛然和不可触碰的高贵威严。敌军拍摄下他们认为格瓦拉“落魄”的场景，未想到这成了这位高贵的受难者遗世绝照，威仪容颜彪炳于世，成了后世革命者的激情启迪之源。
On the other hand, Ernesto Guevara Che, arrested in a guerrilla war in Bolivia, lay in a dirty enemy bed with naked chest and disheveled mustache prior to his execution, showing tranquil, dignified and untouchable nobility. His enemy snapped shots of him in an awful image. But contrary to their expectation these are invaluable photos showing him as a great historic hero commanding great respect from his posterities.
这位母亲，在手术中麻醉药劲力未足，痛楚阵阵袭来，体内的血还在渗；此时，她叫房间内的众人，把刚刚从她身体里取出的婴儿顺势伏倒在她袒露的胸前，吮吸她的乳房。
Now the mom: while still in the throes of child delivery and blood is shedding inside her body as a consequence of insufficient anesthetization, she calls her ward visitors to take away the baby that has just been extracted from her womb, the baby falls naturally in front of her naked breasts sucking them happily.
幼小的婴儿，忙乱的人们，一位横卧在床上，因为痛楚难以讲话，额头渗着汗珠的受难的母亲，她的忍住疼痛的目光中吐露着安详、宁静和只有冬日阳光照射寒凉大地时才有的温暖。我好像看到一道光芒从她的身上发散出来。
This is a scene of the newborn baby, the busybodies, and the mom lying horizontally on bed, too painful to utter any word, and perspiring for pain on the forehead. Nevertheless, her eyesight reveals ease, tranquility and warmth that is found available in winter only in sunshine. I seem to catch sight of a ray of radiance glittering from her body.
我没有用相机，但用记忆记录下来这个受难的场景。
I record the scene of ordeal painstaking with my memory, not with the camera.
西语中的受难Passion和激情出于一辙，不知受难的耐力需要来自激情的支撑，还是激情的试金石来源于受难的磨砺。
The word “Passion” in suffering in English originates from the same root as emotion. I wonder if the stamina in enduring pains stems from emotional support or vice versa.
取名记 Choosing Names
这个纤弱的躯体被冠上了两个名字，大名“潘诗琳”，小名“乐乐”。
The feeble baby has taken two names, Pan Shilin meaning poetry and jade as the formal name and Happy Lele as the pet name.
或许是为了让她欢乐，或许是她已经赐福给他人以欢乐。在她的母亲怀孕期间，已经在5个月期间4次就餐刮出奖金，分别是500, 50, 10, 5元。
Perhaps for the sake of her happiness, or perhaps she has already blessed others with joy, her mom while in pregnancy swiped four rewards 500 yuan, 50 yuan, 10 yuan and 5 yuan from her meal tickets respectively.
至于“诗琳”的由来，更有一番曲折。
As for choosing names, it is a long story to tell.
在出生几个月前，我请来大才女吴沁起名。吴沁曾为朱姓朋友之女起名“朱紫”，结果果然如其名，朋友之女大红大紫。
Several months before her birth, I consulted poetry master Maggie Wu. She once suggested Zhu Zi, meaning extremely popular in Chinese, for a friend surnamed Zhu. And the daughter proved to be exceedingly famous.
吴沁发来三个名字：潘元语、潘乐姗、潘可歆。
She suggested Pan Yuanyu, Pan Leshan and Pan Kexin as alternatives.
“潘元语”取元月诞生之意，音律动听
The first name Pan Yuanyu is appealing rhythmically, suggesting January as the month of birth.
“潘乐姗”，取快乐曼妙之意
The second name Pan Leshan suggests musical romance.
“潘可歆”，谐音“可心”，取艳羡可人之意，并巧妙嵌入王珂与潘新字。
The third name Pan Kexin is homophonic with Kexin (meaning appealing and envy), inclusive of both Wang Ke and Pan Xin.
三个名字皆美好动听，适合女孩子。
All the three names are nice for girls.
“潘诗琳”的名字是有一天在马路上走路时突然想起的，没有任何寓意，至于后来被易经大师选中，增加美好寓意，那是后话。
As Pan Shilin implying poetry and jade it was a name I hit upon while strolling in the street. It had no allegory meaning at the time. As for its being selected by the master of the Book of Change, it added luster to the name, but this was something that occurred later
这是我和她的机密和渊源。
This is a secret and origin peculiar to my relation with her.
经过十几位朋友的集体短信投票，两个候选名字“潘可歆”和“潘诗琳”胜出，投票不相上下。
After collective texting votes by a dozen good friends, Pan Kexin and Pan Shilin comes to the fore, the number of votes being more or less the same. .
最后的决选，由来自台湾的易经、八字和星座高手詹博凯大师定夺。小女被告知属水命，缺土,“诗”字含土（潘诗琳，水木土全齐了，哈哈）；另，这个小女子属兔，“琳”字取美玉之意，那她就是嫦娥的宠伴玉兔了。
The final decision is left to the discretion of Revered Mr. Kaecer Zhan, the expert from Taiwan specializing in the Book of Change, the Horoscope and the Constellation. My baby is told she belongs to water, lacking earth and Shi (poetry) implies earth in its Chinese character shape, thus Pan Shilin implies water, wood, and earth all, Ha, Ha! Furthermore, the baby girl was born in the Year of the Rabbit, the character “Lin” implies jade; hence the jade rabbit, the pet accompanying Chang E, the Fairy of the Moon.
至此，美好含义被嵌进这个马路上想起的名字；我和小女的约定也从这个名字起始；起名居然由吴大才女的名字中胜出，好不得意一番。
By now fine implications are all set into the name I hit upon while strolling in the street. This name is decided upon as the very beginning of my relation with her. I cannot help getting proud of the fact of winning over talented master Maggie Wu the championship in naming my daughter.
也还要感谢吴才女和詹大师的鼎力相助，以及各位好友的投票。
I am also indebted to Maggie Wu and Revered Mr. Kaecer Zhan for their unqualified support and also to all my good friends for voting.
由此，“潘诗琳”的标签被贴在这个“蒙面大侠”的身上。
Thus, the label of Pan Shilin is pasted on the body of the masked knight.
另，小诗琳的出生也完全按照詹大师的掐算，在1月12日14:39（10点至15点之间）的良辰吉日诞生。
Besides, the birth of tiny Shilin is determined by the finger counting of Revered Mr. Zhan, born on January 12, at 14: 39, within 10 – 15, as a fine and propitious day.
这是小诗琳的造化。
This is perhaps a blessing for tiny Shilin.