中国式父教缺失了什么？
父亲、儿子与答案[A Father, a Son and an Answer ]
中国的日益强大，让国际人士自然不自然的习惯于将有别于他们的东方事物都贯以“中国模式”，而我们作为当事人，也开始自然不自然的接受这种叫法，因为在心底里，这也是一种自豪的感觉吧。如此开篇并不是想接着讨论关于中国模式的过去与未来，而是想再谈一谈父教缺失的现实……
中国式父教到底缺失了什么？
笔者在《父教缺失何以拯救》一文中，着重探讨了父教缺失的根源，而在拙文《道德滑坡与信仰危机困扰当代青年》中，笔者又就当代青年的困惑给予解析，但是，它们加在一起仍然不能回答这个问题：中国式父教缺失了什么？！……
现实已经摆在我们面前，有很多报道在反映这种现实，也有很多人在开始探寻解决的办法，但是首先需要弄明白的一个问题是，中国式父教到底缺失了什么？说实话，对此我也难有定论，不过看了很多现象与事例之后，我想我可以概括几点：
第一位的我想应该是情爱。
这种情爱不是高高在上的爱，而是平等自然的爱；
这种情爱不是赐予或施舍式的爱，而是发自内心的没有距离的温情……
第二位的我想应该是力量。
是带来刚毅的量，是坚定信念的力量，是拓展生命的力量……
第三位的我想应该是依靠。
父亲是天，所以低沉时可以抬头看见他；
父亲是海，所以他可以包容一切汹涛骇浪；
父亲是山，所以给我脊梁，让我坚强……
第四位的我想应该是生活。
不是每天都能见到就是生活，
不是每次都要叮嘱才叫关怀，
不是每件事情都不阻挡就是真爱……
你在意吗？
当我孤独时，最想看到的是你的身影……
你知道吗？
当我失落时，最想听到的是你的耳语……
你明白吗？
当我快乐时，最想得到的是你的分享……
你相信吗？
当我飞翔时，最想回到的是你的身旁……
中国式父教，
不能告诉你，
我想要的生活是什么，
因为我们缺失了什么……
这是我所能想到的，也是我能看到和感受到的，但到底缺失了什么？也许每个人都有自己的回答……
所以，不再多语，只是引来一篇不错的外文，看一看，也许能让我们更加的明白，中国式父教到底缺失了什么……
尽管正象他所说的那样：
“the answer is so simple（是的，答案就是这么简单）”……
原文：
A Father, a Son and an Answer
Passing through the Atlanta airport one morning, I caught one of those trains that take travelers from the main terminal to their boarding gates. Free, sterile and impersonal, the trains run back and forth all day long. Not many people consider them fun, but on this Saturday I heard laughter.
At the front of the first car – looking out the window at the track that lay ahead – were a man and his son.
We had just stopped to let off passengers, and the doors wee closing again. “Here we go! Hold on to me tight!” the father said. The boy, about five years old, made sounds of sheer delight.
I know we’re supposed to avoid making racial distinctions these days, so I hope no one will mind if I mention that most people on the train were white, dressed for business trips or vacations – and that the father and son were black, dressed in clothes that were just about as inexpensive as you can buy.
“Look out there!” the father said to his son. “See that pilot? I bet he’s walking to his plane.” The son craned his neck to look.
As I got off, I remembered some thing I’d wanted to buy in the terminal. I was early for my flight, so I decided to go back.
I did – and just as I was about to reboard the train for my gate, I saw that the man and his son had returned too. I realized then that they hadn’t been heading for a flight, but had just bee riding the shuttle.
“I want to ride some more!”
“More?” the father said, mock-exasperated but clearly pleased. “You’re not tired?”
“This is fun!” his son said.
“All right,” the father replied, and when a door opened we all got on.
There are parents who can afford to send their children to Europe or Disneyland, and the children turn out rotten. There are parents who live in million-dollar houses and give their children cars and swimming pools, yet something goes wrong. Rich and poor, black and white, so much goes wrong so often.
“Where are all these people going, Daddy?” the son asked.
“All over the world,” came the reply. The other people in the air port wee leaving for distant destinations or arriving at the ends of their journeys. The father and son, though, were just riding this shuttle together, making it exciting, sharing each other’s company.
So many troubles in this country – crime, the murderous soullessness that seems to be taking over the lives of many young people, the lowering of educational standards, the increase in vile obscenities in public, the disappearance of simple civility. So many questions about what to do. Here was a father who cared about spending the day with his son and who had come up with this plan on a Saturday morning.
The answer is so simple: parents who care enough to spend time, and to pay attention and to try their best. It doesn’t cost a cent, yet it is the most valuable thing in the world.
The train picked up speed, and the father pointed something out, and the boy laughed again, and the answer is so simple.
译文：
父亲、儿子与答案
（美） 鲍勃•格林
一天早晨去亚特兰大机场，我看见一辆列车载载着旅客从航空集散站抵达登记处。这类免费列车每天单调、无味地往返其间，没人觉得有趣。但这个周六我却听到了笑声。
在头节车厢的最前面，坐着一个男人和他的儿子。他们正透过窗户观赏着一直往前延伸的铁道。
我们停下来等候旅客下车，之后，车门关上了。“走吧。拉紧我！”父亲说。儿子大约5岁吧，一路喜不自禁。
车上坐的多半是衣冠楚楚，或公差或度假的白人，只有这对黑人父子穿着朴素简单。我知道如今我们不该种族歧视，我希望我这样描述没人介意。
“快看！”父亲对儿子说：“看见那位飞行员了吗？我敢肯定是去开飞机的。”儿子伸长脖子看。
下了车后我突然想起还得在航空集散站买点东西。离起飞时间还早，于是我决定再乘车回去。
正准备上车的时候，我看到那对父子也来了。我意识到他们不是来乘飞机的，而是特意来坐区间列车的。
“我还想再坐一会儿！”
“再坐一会儿！”父亲嗔怪模仿着儿子的语调，“你还不累？”
“真好玩！”儿子说。
“好吧，”父亲说。车门开了，我们都上了车。
我们很多父母有能力送孩子去欧洲，去狄斯尼乐园，可孩子还是堕落了。很多父母住豪华别墅，孩子有车有游泳池，可孩子还是学坏了。富人、穷人，黑人、白人，那么多人都轻易学坏了。
“爸爸，这些人去哪？”儿子问。
“世界各地。”父亲回答。机场来来往往的人流或准备远行，或刚刚归来。这对父子却在乘坐区间列车，享受着父子间的亲情与陪伴。
我们正面临许多问题：犯罪、越来越多的年轻人变得冷漠无情、文化水平下降、公共场合卑劣猥亵上升、起码的礼貌丧失，等等。我们有那么多的问题要处理。而这里。这位父亲却很在意花上一天陪伴儿子，并在这样一个星期六的早上，提出这个计划。
其实答案很简单：父母愿意花时间，愿意关注，愿意尽心尽职。这不要花一分钱，可这却是世间无价之宝。
火车加速了。父亲指着窗外说着什么，儿子直乐。是的，答案就是这么简单。
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