AIDS death of a female monologue
http://www.sina.com.cn 2009 month 16 day 03 years legal and Living 14:53
Text / love late Pavilion

Abstract: life is about to come to an end at the occasion, Zhang - AIDS female issued痛彻heart sound the call of the tragedy of her life, awakening the people.

This article Background: The winter sunshine outside the window long to Long follow, such as folk music ensemble "radiant", cheerful and bustling streets in the city on a warm flowing melody, warm reminder Zhang (not his real name): efforts to live ! Even if only as they are now, quietly lying in the prison hospital bed, through the bars, greedily sucking in the continuously warm winter for the cold shower of her dying body.

Zhang is a drug addict, she has been deeply plunged into the swamp addiction! After 10 years with the ambiguous毒魔entanglement and death struggle, she completely lost!

Because of sharing needles with drug addicts, in order to raise drug money to sell their bodies to traders dependent suction to suction Custody traders, Zhang not only infected with AIDS, was also directly involved in drug trafficking syndicates, the implementation of drug trafficking activity, and embarked on a non-return of Road ... ...

August 12, 2008, Zhang, wearing handcuffs and leg irons at three police officers and an armed police escorted the common soldiers, pulled left groin due to needles and pain over the weak body, slowly moved into the wall bars to become a Women's Prison AIDS criminals, began her long career transformation of the prison sentence.

Not happy, "city people" Living

In 1981, I was born in the South a picturesque village with the old town. A clear river from the town's ancient houses错落有致between meandering by. Gurgling river flowing all the year round, gentle and Subtle, such as灵秀daughter to be married.

I do not know well at the world, the most-awaited summer than at dusk, wearing her mother's basket with their own batik cloth at the end of white flowers give me a small sewing pants, and a group of small partners青石板from the high bridge jump jump under the fish into the wild geese as cool as that pond fairy tale world. At sunset in the twilight, across the Road, together with violinist playing like such as mellow and vivid arc.

At six siblings, my youngest. Kit Kat from a young age I'm Linglong, bright. As the youngest, much loved parents,兄姐care.

9 years old, our family relocated to the more than sixty kilometers away from home outside the county seat, then, I have been on the non-happy "people city" life. My county at a primary school fee is not expensive上三年级directly. Upon their arrival in a strange environment, I remained silent for a semester to get acquainted with only 23 partners. My classes are not lectures, nor do homework after school, single-minded town want to go home.

A summer weekend morning, Tiangang蒙蒙亮, I stole 20 dollars买了车票Parent Direct boarded the bus home. As a result, the station I was waiting for a long time to affect the uncle returned home for lunch and then safely returned to the county seat.

At that time, even though I do not study hard, but the examination results are better, especially the essay written better, teachers often get the praise, saying that I have literary talent. Until the sixth grade, middle school test preparation, and I still like the wild kid, like a few misbehaving定下心not to study. With the increase of homework, my school apart from all the Chinese slipped down outside. Afraid to face my beginning teachers and classmates, but also afraid of the day parents are busy doing business to make money known to the matter.

Sixth grade, second semester, my teacher came home visits! Teacher in good faith "request" My parents will go to my other school, middle school on the examination so as not to drag the whole class when the hind legs, the impact of class of the transition rates. Parent Teacher赔着笑脸saying good-bye the next day went to town around the primary contact. The third day, I will smooth away from the county home to six kilometers away, the town primary school.

Parent farther from my heart on the cross-country! I like runaway horse, after school I play more frenzied, aboard the classroom will be straight want to doze off, listlessness. Hard熬到sixth grade graduation, I will be a matter of course in that town of the shortage of middle school students on a school middle school. Gentle persuasion of their parents, I seem to have much more sensible.

Two days of the next semester, a Monday morning, because Sunday with a group of friends to play crazy, my whole routine week in the morning commentary on the General Assembly, stood up their sleepy! Stage speech principals found my situation very angrily in front of all the teachers and students Noodles roared: "Zhang, you went to last night where the wild?吃屎nothing really dog!"

When the Vice-Chancellor through the microphone, then filtered through, I fell head away as if one was hit head-on, suddenly wake up.

One school will be scattered, and I went to fly like a toilet howl. Girls that age-specific self-esteem, let me move toward danger - I have had a school of thought, then my step by step around the society.

Under 14 years old me from school into society,怀揣with less than 100 yuan. I sobbed uneasy walking in the streets, not with their parents say hello, they hurriedly left the heart of the town school. I mentioned a few pieces of clothes with bag, 56 a copy to use money to buy a ticket from the county health became critical path through the bus, Dongguan City, Guangdong.

Degenerate to the quagmire

Factory in Dongguan, I am happy and fulfilling. Me smiling all day long, everyone just call me called "Pistachio." A long time, I feel that life is not what it's like.

I do nothing, they often go to bars to drink away the days. Soon became acquainted with the society on young people idle. Initially, only with everyone drinking, dancing. At the temptation of a group of friends, I try to start the drug. A result, just like them, my step-by-step魔窟entered the abyss of drugs, it is difficult to extricate themselves. Money in order to buy drugs, agreed to marry against my company boss disabled son - Brian Stevenson.

One day, his father thousands of miles away to find Dongguan to find me. I tried to cover up the truth of their addiction. But at his father under the guidance, I finally tell the truth. Father disappointing first game, such as volcanic eruptions as哭嚎, regret he did not try to make his father's duty, just to make money! Do not agree with it clear that I am married to Brian Stevenson.

On that day, the poor and the desperate father二话没说, a force pulling me to the station. I see my father's efforts, but at this time have been unable to leave my drug. I know that, once returned to his hometown, his father would put me into mandatory drug addiction treatment center. This is also unacceptable to me anyway, I get rid of the father broke down in tears back to the Shi family.

弹指一挥years, another 3 years, with the Devil Dances, I completely changed. Shih every day witnessing the changes in my body that I got seriously ill. In order to continue to receive drug money, I cheated me really question the Shi family.

Every day with my Shi give money to live at home desperate for a smoke, powder-mei Living dead.

When sober, I have deeply grieved to blame themselves, determined to no longer drug-free, lead a normal life. Once drug addiction can attack, the kind of needle穿心thousand, ten thousand insect bites such as the pain swept like a tornado came, I again will be the original determination and commitment, his head thrown一股脑abuse. Because of sharing needles with other drug users, and with impunity cohabitation with different men, I do not know through what channels and when infected with the HIV virus.

At the site on time, I had fainted due to drug addiction seizures. I was taken to hospital soon be sent to compulsory detoxification. After Friday I have around 5 into compulsory detoxification.

From what I first walked into a treatment center, Shi family was informed that my true situation, put me out of the Shi family.

I returned to my parents home,怀揣is also less than 100 yuan. Shi no family financial support, every day 300 of drug money nowhere to be available, desperate to make my money the new measures - to engage in flesh trade.

At prostitution alone can not satisfy my needs for drug money, I had to take the risk onto the bulk of drug trafficking in the road. Very quickly, at twice succeeded, I for suspected drug trafficking by the public security authorities arrest.

June 26, 2008, I was sentenced to death with reprieve.

At the end of life

August 12, 2008, is the summer season. Me in handcuffs and leg irons and slowly moved into the walls inside the bars. When I entered the female supervisor, such as green Haichao like the passage from Noodles. Isolated from the outside world in this two-tier world, everywhere are dressing neat garden; two large banyan trees such as dense two enormous sun umbrella will block the summer heat at a large wall outside; light yellow in jail, mosaic in the uniform garden, the tranquil and elegant; Tieshu ball Parthenocissus ... ... At around the rockery fountain, there is a lot of my favorites Monstera. Monstera Since there is adequate water supply, growing un-. Monstera leaves huge gallantly out into small石径next, sentimental and special intoxicated and sisters here!

Into the supervisor at the supervisor at the district, a row of neat and filled with all kinds of disk flowers in the house view, the two affable female police received me cordially. They like知冷知热sister, in good faith of my questioning routine to do a detailed registration. A high fever could not swallow my rice, that some of the Chin older police officers, immediately exit the kitchen go back to give me a bowl of porridge, and then led officers on duty serving,急冲冲to rush out of the boiler room full of两桶of boiling water to come back - my nearly 20 days of no bathed. That night my痛痛快快to wash a shower, a sleep comfortably sleep security.

My hair again the next morning a high fever, accompanied by drug seizures, coupled with the disease AIDS tortured me very weak! Chin police officers there to give me a canteen playing a bowl of rice has a lot of meat, plus an egg. Chin pleasant police officers tried to eat me as much as possible to supplement the body's energy consumption. With tears in her eyes I tried to swallow a large family, then with a splitting head pain on the ground roll.不想活me a! Chin by two police officers handcuffed and put my hands up his legs buckle separately, prevention I frantically grasping bites and to report on prison duty派车Leaders put me to the prison hospital.

This is a first-class modern equipment in the prison hospital, has just put into use, clean and clear. Doctor give me a detailed inspection. Afternoon, I would lie on HIV cleaner drips a separate ward.

A month later, I gain weight by 20多斤. Disease have been discharged after remission for the time being, I get a bag of drugs back to the Women's Prison. Fortunately my naturalization officer in charge of Chin. Chin weekdays where police officers told me after their well-being, often to find my heart, enlighten me. She not only discrimination, unlike the other people like me, but, intentionally or unintentionally, before the public around me, with my shaking hands, close-up face-to-face conversation.

In this way, not only eliminates the fear of other people, but also make everyone sick with HIV guilty of scientific exchanges between the health example.

She made me give a lot of scientific knowledge to Fight AIDS,促膝to talk about the philosophy of life. Literary books that I love, she give me to the library borrowed Zhang Haidi "dream on a wheelchair," Helen Keller "If I give a three-day bright," the former Soviet Union尼斯特洛Malinowski's " How to Make Steel "and other inspirational books. She also brought from home movie VCD "Invisible Wings", the use of Sunday Organize team inmates watch.

Chin police officer's face has a deep dimple, whenever I looked at her, listen to the teachings of her Kind, it will naturally be her two charming dimples and homeland that linked Lake deep pool, I feel really beautiful!

Later, I run at the Ministry of Justice "Yellow Ribbon" in the publication, see the deeds of her reports and a lot of work. She is actually a very social conscience Writer police. Her works are full of great wall of human nature as well as consider the profound serving women and their children a rational concern. It is solely my silly tears often think, if my very small when encountered Chin like such a good police officer and that the elder sister many happy ah! At Her imperceptibly, under the guidance of丝丝入扣, I renewed the hope of life.

Because of advanced AIDS complicated by a variety of diseases, such as my life is weak gossamer ordered the hanging line. December 20, 2008, I was sent back to the prison hospital ward H IV.

I thank the Government, to thank the female supervisor, Chin thanked the police officers. Is a virtue and she touched my heart, I completely changed the hostile attitude of society, are her true feelings and love me gently erased the minds of other people's resentment to love, to me the courage to face their own miserable life, being back on its feet! Well, even if only a short year, months or even weeks ... ...

I learned that from his own AIDS infected so far have been no fewer than 400 people, in the absence of precautions to take any case of cohabitation with me ... ... This means that there is thousands of men and their wives or girlfriends exist infected possible! I give these young people full of vim and vigor brought drowned, I put these innocent lives to promote the impasse beyond redemption.

Murderers kill only 12 to life, and I used this knife not deprived of blood on the lives of thousands of people, my executioner is murderous! Hopefully, my life and the painful lessons of the tragedy, can bring young people and their parents have their teachers principals, engaged in education can lead to job and social studies questions of common concern to people.

Winter sunshine outside the window long to Long follow, such as music, cheerful in the bustling city streets on a warm flowing melody, in good faith, the temptation to me, a warm reminder to me: to live! Even if only as they are now, quietly lying in the prison hospital bed, through the bars, greedily sucking in the continuously warm winter for the cold shower my dying body.

Through the bars, I started freely flying wings, fantasy can return to the home of childhood. At home one summer evening, a gentle little girl, her face a smile bloom ah, drying in the sun like the flowers bloom! She wore her mother's blue batik with its white cloth to sew her clothes, and a group of small partners, from the high bridge jump青石板jumped into the fish like wild geese that cool pool fairy tale-like world, at sunset Medium afterglow, such as across the Road, together like a violinist playing mellow and vivid arc ... ...

(Excerpt from "Law and Life" semimonthly in March 2009 on half-monthly)