A Brighter Shade of Male

 (Taiwan Review)

        “Actually there are a multitude of models or masculinity among Taiwanese men, though common traits are visible,” says Yang Ming-lei (陽明磊), an associate professor of educational psychology and counseling at Ming Chuan University. “Success is still what most men are longing for,” Yang says. “For different generations, what constitutes success may vary, the symbols of success may differ,” says Yang. “But, intrinsically, men have not changed. Men’s pursuit of success is unchanged, too. Some time ago, a fast car might be a symbol of success. Now expensive stylish clothes might qualify as a status symbol,” Yang says.

        As society becomes more varied, more people want to live life as they choose, especially among the urban bourgeois. Yang points out that changes in lifestyle involves many factors, but there is one huge constant, namely competition in the marriage market. As most Taiwanese men still believe that a career must be established before marriage, they tend to delay seeking a spouse and then find it harder to get one. Yang believes that if men want to stay competitive, they have to change their ways of dealing with the opposite sex. Stylish dressing and careful appearance management is one new way, albeit not the only one that men should heed.

Missing the Point

Botox treatment might make a man look younger; brand-name clothing make him feel more powerful, at least that is the idea that media purveys. But a major problem is that this media-driven consumer culture, concerned as it is with stylistic superficialities, fails to address male anxieties that cannot be alleviated by appearance management. Yang has had many years’ experience as a marriage counselor during which he has witnessed time and again that men’s real frustration in marriage derives from their lack of skill in intimacy. “Taiwanese men know how to court, but do not know how to make love last. Being intimate with people requires an attitude of straight talk, but our culture emphasizes the importance of harmony and avoidance of conflict,” says Yang. “There are too few channels available for men to learn the nature of intimacy.” The problem then with rising male image consciousness is that it stresses superficial values, which might be useful in might be useful in selecting plumage for courtship rituals, but provide nothing useful for the longer-term goal of nest-building.

Obviously a man free from anxiety is more able to choose what kind of lifestyle really suits him. “Success has multiple faces,” Yang says. One can see some kind of success in the window of Armani but also see another in that of Hang Ten. Some defines success by the size of their bank account, while other think more about inner happiness.