天津网讯 2008年夏天，在传染病医院看病期间，我看到一个患者的病历跟自己相似，试着问对方是否是感染者。就这样，我遇到了第一个病友，并加入了海河之星感染者工作组。

 

从此，我一次次到工作组去上课，学到了很多关于艾滋病的知识，也知道了如何保护自己保护他人。这以后，我的心情好了很多，原来，得了艾滋病并不可怕，好多感染者也能乐观地在阳光下好好生活。

在第23个世界艾滋病日来临之际，本报昨日开辟专栏，关注我们身边的“艾滋病相关人物”。首期志愿者篇引起读者关注。今日，我们把目光转向艾滋病感染者。他们如何生活起居，有什么样的心理体验，家人是否知晓，是否原谅，有没有把他们赶出家门？这些都是我们想要寻找的答案。在海河之星工作组的帮助下，艾滋病感染者老郑同意了本报的采访，愿意现身说法，向人们展示艾滋病感染者的生活状况。昨天，记者走近老郑，体验了他的日常生活。

记者亲历

阳光下有保留地生活

老郑是地道的天津人，住在南开区一栋普通的居民楼里。身为“50后”的他有着那一代人常见的生活经历，兄弟姐妹一大帮，却是第一代独生子女的家长，已经见到了隔辈人。

作为一名国企职工，老郑也经历过下岗，下岗后与人合伙做起小生意。采访是在他的公司进行的，昨天早晨9点不到，老郑就来到公司。如果没有特殊情况，每天这个时候，他都开始打理自己的生意。因为是工作日，客户不多，记者有如他的一个客户，没有人在意。遇到上门的买主，老郑就热情地上前招呼，言谈举止十分专业，很难让人把他和艾滋病联系到一起。

没敢告诉合伙人 跟顾客绝口不提

他说还是避讳点好

见面不久，老郑拿出相册，介绍自己的情况。“您看，这是我被查出HIV阳性之前的样子，很白净，还有点胖。服了抗艾滋病的药后，我变得瘦了，黑了。吃了保健品后，我的脸色又变白净了，您看，我现在保养得不像有病的样子吧？”的确，老郑的脸色健康，身材匀称，行动敏捷，看上去也就40多岁。老郑说，跟一般顾客他可绝口不谈艾滋病的事，连合伙人也不敢告诉。

10点钟，老郑开始服药，这是他每天雷打不动的功课。“每天定点两次服药是最重要的事。”他从防寒服口袋里拿出一个火柴盒大小的长方形盒子，里面被分成三格，装了三种药片，一种灰色，两种白色，有菱形的，也有长方形的。

“跟吃感冒药没什么区别。这个药盒是一个病友送给我的，这上面什么字样都没有，不容易被人察觉。”老郑说，和他一起开公司的合伙人不知道他有艾滋病，客户也不知道。“反正我平时也总吃保健品，大家都没对我服药这事有什么察觉。”他说，这样做，是出于自我保护，“毕竟人们对艾滋病的了解不多，一旦知道了，我的生意就全黄了。”

记者注意到，他几乎杯不离手。“得了艾滋病才知道，定时补充水分，保持身体的洁净很重要。”但这似乎还不能解释他为什么这么看重自己的杯子。“我的杯子只给自己用，同合伙人关系不错，我怕他不小心拿错了，人家不知道，我还是避讳点好。”

没在外面吃过饭 也不到朋友家吃

他说自己得了肝病

中午，记者提出请老郑吃饭，被拒绝了。“自从知道感染以来，我从没在外面吃过饭，也不到朋友家吃饭，虽然我知道共同吃饭不会感染，但我怕人家知道了难受。”老郑说，他为这种生活习惯的突然改变编造了一个美丽的谎言，因为亲友们知道他住过传染病医院，他说自己得了肝病。

午饭是在家里吃的。老郑的家离公司很近。入冬以来，他的女儿女婿带着年幼的孩子来和他们一起住，说这样暖和。一进门，小外孙女就扑上来缠着姥爷。老郑幸福地抱着外孙女，一边走，一边冲她做鬼脸儿，逗得小女孩哈哈大笑。他对女婿介绍说，记者是他生意上的朋友。年轻人没在意，继续做自己的事。私下里，老郑说，女婿不知道他是感染者。“虽然将来迟早要让他知道，在没知道前，还是避讳些吧。”

午饭是全家人一起吃的。厅里支起圆桌，摆上老伴早已做好的饭菜。老郑虽然和家人没有距离，但还是拿一个小碗分出一点菜来吃，这是他一直以来“为别人避讳”的原则。

下午1点多钟，他骑自行车出门，到供应商那里拿来客户预订的产品，再骑自行车送过去。如此，奔波了一下午，有点累，还吃得消。

老郑说，他希望通过记者的报道告诉人们，有一个艾滋病感染者，每天生活在阳光下，很积极很乐观，不像人们想象的那样，垂死挣扎。

对话老郑

“死”过一次才活明白

谈起得病的经历，老郑有点难为情。2007年1月，老郑做了一个男科手术，之后发现伤口愈合得特别慢，医生怀疑他得了性病。到大医院治疗过程中，医生建议他到疾控中心做艾滋病毒筛查，结果显示为阳性，他成了艾滋病感染者。老郑坦言，他曾经接触过不同的同性伴侣。至于艾滋病，因为有五到八年的潜伏期，他很难确认是谁传染给他的。老郑害怕牵连妻子，他拉着妻子去做了检查。“我偷偷地让医生给她做了艾滋病毒筛查，结果显示她没事，我才放下心来。”

虽然妻子没事，可他本人有事，这让老郑惶惶不可终日。“当时没有艾滋病的相关知识，总认为自己说不定哪天就死了。有了并发症住院后，我一个人躺在传染病医院的病房里，连个说话的人都没有，就想这辈子算完了，怕是就这么孤独地死去了。”

最终，他还是决定告诉妻子实情。“她起初也不能接受，我对她说，我没做对不起家庭的事，因为自己的性取向，才染上这个病。她最终接受了现实，开始给我调剂生活，还提醒我吃药。这让我很感动，因为她愿意我活着，我活着她才有主心骨。‘死’过一次才知道，原来人都是在为别人活，只有这样才会有意义，以前一直为自己活，没活明白。”

亲人理解感染者羡慕

老郑说，现在他最亲近的人都知道他感染者的身份。“我的兄弟姐妹，我妻子、女儿，他们都接受我。”让女儿知道老郑感染艾滋病，是在她结婚生育之后。“她生了小孩，让我们帮她带，我不得不跟她说了实情，我感染了艾滋病，虽然一般的接触不会感染，但我必须对她说明白，否则她知道实情后会恨我。”

 

现在，老郑也成了“被啃老”一族，每天工作、带孙辈很辛苦，他却十分高兴。因为女儿没有嫌弃他，让他享尽了天伦之乐，这一点令很多感染者羡慕不已。“我最近接了个给别人看夜的活儿，每天晚上得出去上班，搁在以前，小外孙女还和我们（老郑和他老伴）一起睡呢。”

尽管如此，知情人还是有限。“老婆知道，老婆的娘家人不知道；女儿知道，女婿不知道。”亲人们都善意地替他保守着秘密，老郑本人也格外小心。“自从知道我被感染以来，我就对兄弟姐妹说，你们到我这来，我欢迎，如果不是你们邀请，原谅我不到你们家里去。毕竟我有病，你们都有一大家子人呢。”自从查出感染艾滋病以来，他没去过任何一个亲戚家，虽然他没告诉人们实情，但人们知道他住过传染病院，也大多知道他患了“肝病”。

作者：高立红 (本文来源：天津网 )Day experience of people with AIDS: laughing in the sun of life (Figure)
2010-11-26 07:59:00 Source: Network of Tianjin (Tianjin)

"Standing in the sun smiled on the reporter's request Lao Zheng, photos to be blocked on his face. Photojournalist section SENSING

Tianjin Reuters the summer of 2008, the infectious disease hospital, I saw a similar patient medical records with their own, try asking each other whether it is infected. In this way, I met the first patient, and joined the Haihe River Star infections working group.

Since then, I have again and again to the Working Group go to class, learned a lot about AIDS knowledge, but also know how to protect themselves to protect others. After that, I feel a lot better, the original, had AIDS not terrible, a lot of infected people can also optimistic about the good life in the sun.

In the first 23 World AIDS Day approaching, this newspaper column in yesterday, focusing on our side, "AIDS figures." Volunteers articles get noticed first. Today, we turned to look at AIDS. How they live daily, what kind of psychological experience, whether the family know, do not forgive, ever put them out of the house? These are what we want to find the answer. Star of the Haihe River with the help of the working group, agreed AIDS Lao Zheng newspaper interview, willing their own experiences, to show that the living conditions of people living with HIV. Yesterday, the reporters approached Lao Zheng and experience his daily life.

Reporter witnessed

Life under the sun with reservations

Lao Zheng is typical of Tianjin, Nankai District, lives in a normal apartment building. As a "50 after" the generation that he has a common life experience, a bunch of brothers and sisters, it is the first generation of only children's parents, who have met every generation.

As a state-owned enterprise workers, Lao Zheng has experienced layoffs, laid off to start a small business with a partner. Interview in his company, yesterday less than 9:00, Lao Zheng came to the company. If no special circumstances, this time of day, he began to take care of their own business. Because it is working, not many customers, journalists like one of his clients, no one cares. Experienced home buyers, Lao Zheng to warm the earth before the greeting, and conversation is very professional, it is hard to contact him and AIDS together.

Did not dare tell a partner with the customer makes no mention

He says he still care about the good points

To meet soon, Lao Zheng album out, introduce their own situation. "You see, this is before I was diagnosed HIV-positive appearance, very pale, and a little fat. Served after the anti-AIDS drugs, I became thin, dark. Ate health care products, my face and become pale, you see, I now look like the sick and maintenance have not you? "Indeed, the Lao Zheng face healthy, shapely, agile, looks also more than 40 years of age. Lao Zheng said that he could stop talking with the general customers do not talk about AIDS, even the partners did not dare to tell.

10 o'clock, Lao Zheng start medication, it was his unshakeable homework every day. "Medication twice a day is designated the most important thing." Pocket from his winter clothes rectangular box the size of a matchbox, which is divided into three cells, installed three pills, a gray, two white, a diamond, there are rectangular.

"Eat with the cold medicine makes no difference. This kit is a patient gave me, that what the words above are not, is not easy to be noticed." Lao Zheng said, and he opened with a partner company did not know he had AIDS customers do not know. "Anyway, I usually can always eat health food, we did not matter to me what is taking notice." He said, did it for self-protection, "After all, people do not know much about AIDS, once you know, I yellow on the whole business. "

This reporter noted that he was almost cup their hands. "AIDS had to know, time to add water to keep the body clean is very important." But this can not explain why he seems so value their cup. "My cup only to yourself, a good relationship with a partner, I was afraid he accidentally took the wrong, they do not know, I still care about the good points."

No meal is not out to eat with friends

He said he had liver disease

At noon, a reporter's question, please Lao Zheng dinner, was rejected. "Since that infection, I have never eaten outside, not to the friend's house to eat, although I know that eating together will not be infected, but I'm afraid people know the uncomfortable." Lao Zheng said he was accustomed to this kind of life The sudden change made up a beautiful lie, because relatives and friends know that he stayed in Hospital for Infectious Diseases, said he had liver disease.

Eat lunch at home. Lao Zheng from the company close to home. Since the beginning of winter, his daughter-law with young children to live with them, saying that warm. A door, rushed to the small granddaughter to haunt you, grandpa. Lao Zheng happily holding his granddaughter, while walking, while children rushed her to make faces, amused the little girl laugh. His son said, the reporter is his business friends. Young people did not care and continue to do their own thing. Privately, Lao Zheng said son did not know he was infected. "Although the future sooner or later let him know, do not know before, or care about us."

Lunch is the whole family to eat. Support from the round table in the hall, put his wife had good meals. Although there is no distance Lao Zheng and his family, but still get a little food and eat a small bowl separation, which he has been "for the other taboo" principle.

13:00 or so, his bike out to the suppliers of products used book customers, and then riding a bicycle to send in the past. So, run around the afternoon, a little tired, but also be able to stand.

Lao Zheng said he hopes to tell people through news reports, there is an AIDS infected people, daily life in the sun, very positive very optimistic, as people may imagine it, dying.

Dialogue Lao Zheng

"Dead" once it live to understand

Talking about the experience of illness, Lao Zheng a bit embarrassed. January 2007, Lao Zheng made a male surgery, found after a particularly slow wound healing, the doctor suspected that he had sexually transmitted diseases. The course of treatment to a hospital, the doctor recommended him to the CDC to do HIV screening, the results show positive, he became AIDS. Lao Zheng admitted that he had contact with a different same-sex partner. As for AIDS, because the incubation period of five to eight years, he was difficult to identify who transmitted to him. Lao Zheng afraid to implicate his wife, he took his wife to do the inspection. "I stole a doctor to her HIV screening showed she was fine, I was relieved."

Although his wife all right, but he himself something, it makes Lao Zheng constant state of anxiety. "There was no AIDS related knowledge, and believe that maybe someday he died himself. With the complications of hospitalization, I am a man lying on the hospital ward of infectious diseases, and even a speaker did not, wanted in this life count is over, so fear is to die a lonely. "

Eventually, he decided to tell his wife the truth. "She could not accept at first, I said to her, I did not do a disservice to the family, because their sexual orientation, was infected with the disease. She finally accepted the reality and began to adjust my life, but also reminded me to take medicine. It really touched me because she'd take me alive, I live her in the backbone. 'dead' once he realized people are living for others, the only way to make sense, had previously been live for themselves, no live to understand. "

The envy of their loved ones understand the infection

Lao Zheng said that now his closest people know his HIV status. "My brothers and sisters, my wife, daughter, they all accepted me." To let his daughter know the Lao Zheng infected with AIDS, is after the birth of her marriage. "She gave birth to a child, let us help her with, I have to tell her the truth, I'm infected with AIDS, although most of the contacts are not infected, but I must say so to her, otherwise she would hate me to know the truth . "



Now, Lao Zheng became the "be eating the old" family, daily work, with grandchildren is very hard, he was very pleased. Because the daughter did not hold anything against him, let him taste all the grandchildren, which is the envy of many infections. "I recently took a night job to anyone, every night to go out to work, put in the past, and our little granddaughter also (Lao Zheng and his wife) sleep together yet."

However, insiders still limited. "The wife knows that his wife's maiden people do not know; daughter know, son do not know." Pro-people are conservative for him in good faith a secret, Lao Zheng himself with caution. "Since that since I was infected, I said to the brothers and sisters, you come to me, I welcome, if not invite you, forgive me for not coming to you house. After all I am sick of you people have a get it. "Since HIV infection has been found, he had not been to any of the relatives, although he did not tell people the truth, but people know that he stayed in hospital for infectious diseases, and most know that he suffered a" liver. "

Of: Gao Hong (This article Source: Tianjin Network)