他们是一群和艾滋病人同呼吸,共命运的人,他们的生活与艾滋病人紧紧联系在一起。让我们来听听他们如何看待艾滋病,看待如何与艾滋病人相处……
我不怕艾滋病但怕他跟我离婚
与艾滋病人结婚的小乐:我不怕艾滋病,但怕他跟我离婚
口述:小乐(化名),女,28岁。爱人如强(化名)HIV阳性,36岁,有一个4岁的女儿。
“我非他不嫁”
我和我老公,当初在一块儿也挺不容易的。一是他们家条件特别不好,他妈过世早,家里兄弟姐妹又多,日子过得特别苦;二是他比我大8岁,年岁上相差太大我妈不同意;三是我们老家人普遍都觉得他不安份,搞运输倒服装啥都干过。
刚认识那会儿,我20多点,他28岁,我们是在一个朋友家认识的,他主动追求的我,第一次见面当着很多人的面就说了很多好听的。他人长得帅,社会经历什么也比我丰富,跟老家的那些人比起来很不一样,所以很快我就跟他来往了。
但是我们家人坚决反对。一直折腾到我22岁那年,在家乡那个年岁都该找婆家了,才跟他结婚。
“我以嫁他为骄傲”
他一直在外地做生意,偶尔才回老家,结婚也是聚少离多的。那段时间我们老是吵架,主要是我不放心他。他常年在外,喝酒,打麻将,吃饭,呼朋唤友,不消停,一直吵到我们女儿的出生了。
那年他给了我一个惊喜:在北京买了一套房,把我和女儿接了过来。也就是03年,我们一家三口在北京自己买的房子里团聚。真的挺值得骄傲的,现在也觉得很骄傲,我们是我们村也可能说是我们镇第一个在北京买房安家的人。这证明我没有嫁错人。
“我不后悔嫁给他”
再后来,他查出了艾滋病,但我和女儿都健康的。我记得特清楚,医生是在让我们看完艾滋病的很多个科教短片以后才告诉我们,我老公有可能携带艾滋病毒的。所以在等待复诊结果的两周里,我们几乎日夜不分的歇斯底里地在吵在闹在哭在打……
我受不了的是他背着我和别的女人乱性得病,他受不了的是他的很多哥们都没事偏偏他有事儿,我们吵着睡去,醒来又接着吵……直到他提出跟我离婚,我才意识到离婚远远比艾滋病更让我接受不了。
突然我开始冷静了。我就想:很多事情过去了,我再追究于事无补。我女儿还那么小,不能没有爸爸。这个病不会马上死人,也不会马上发作,比癌症和意外相对好些。而且他太可怜了,如果我不帮他他肯定会走极端,我们是夫妻,疾病面前应该不离不弃。幸好我和女儿还都是健康的……最后一个理由让我从绝望中走出来。
“我比以前更爱他”
我就像哄一个孩子一样哄着他劝着他,直到现在也一样。我们跟任何的普通家庭没有什么区别。感情上,我们应该说比以前更好了,以前他总是忙生意,不怎么顾家,现在下班就往家赶,帮我做家务,陪女儿玩儿,越来越恋家,应酬也少了。平常,他上他的班,我上我的班,偶尔也闹个小别扭什么的,周末我们一起开车出去玩。
别人根本看不出来什么,事实上,我们之间也很少提起这个。夫妻生活照常过,只是比较小心,使用安全套,他很小心的,我倒是不害怕。我每年都会定期去查抗体,最近一次检测还是健康的。当然,担心也是有的,主要怕他机会性感染什么的,不过他身体底子好,目前就吃着政府给的免费的药暂时没有发现什么问题。
至于以后,当然还是要努力赚钱,一是孩子大了,负担越来越大,二是希望攒点钱在这里,万一发病可以吃些副作用小点的药,再说也许不久就有可以治愈呢。凡事往好里想呗。
Oral: I am not afraid of AIDS, but fear that he would divorce me, (Figure)
http://www.sina.com.cn 2009 Nian 09 Yue 20 Ri 21:57 39 Health Network
They are a group of people with AIDS and the common fate of the people, their lives and closely linked to AIDS. Let's listen to how they treat AIDS, treat people with AIDS how to get along ... ...
I am not afraid of AIDS, but fear that he would divorce me
Married to small-and AIDS Le: I am not afraid of AIDS, but fear that he would divorce me
Oral: Small Le (a pseudonym), female, 28 years old. Love others as strong (a pseudonym) HIV-positive, 36-year-old, there is a 4-year-old daughter.
"I am non-that he did not marry"
I and my husband that when together, are quite not easy. First, their home conditions are particularly bad, his mother died early, brothers and sisters and great, the days fly by bitter; two of his eight-year-old than I, the age difference too much on my mother do not agree; three of our old home people generally feel that he was concerned were engaged in the transport down clothing consequently engaged in similar acts.
Just know had never been seen, I have more than 20 points, his 28-year-old, and we know in a friend's house, and he took the initiative to pursue my first time meeting face in front of a lot of people say that a lot of good. Another cool-looking, social experience of anything than me, with the home compared with those who are very different, so I told him very quickly between the.
But we firmly oppose the family. Has always been frustrating to me 22 years old, that age at home are the Zhaopo Jia, and was to marry him.
"I am proud to marry him"
He has been doing business in the field, occasionally come back to the home, marriage is living together from the many. During that time we always quarrel, mainly because I do not trust him. His long years of absence, drinking, playing mahjong, eating, Hupenghuanyou, not break, they have been quarreling, our daughter was born.
That year he gave me a pleasant surprise: in Beijing, bought an apartment, my daughter took it. That is, in 2003, we are a family of three in Beijing, to buy their own house reunion. Is really quite proud of, but now they feel very proud that we are in our village may be said that our town first settled down in Beijing, people who buy a house. This proves that I did not marry the wrong person.
"I do not regret marrying him"
Still later, he was identified with AIDS, but I and daughter are healthy. I remember that special well, the doctor is watching us a lot of AIDS only after a short science tells us that my husband may be carrying the HIV virus. Therefore, waiting for the results of a two-week return visit, we almost day and night regardless of the hysteria in the noisy in the busy crying in the fight ... ...
I can not stand with his back to me and the other woman chaotic nature of illness, he can not stand is that many of his buddies were all right but his you shir, we pleaded with him to sleep, woke up again and then noisy ... ... until he mentioned the proposal to I am divorced, I realized that the divorce made me far more than AIDS, can not be accepted.
Suddenly I began to calm the. I thought: a lot of things has passed, does not help me to pursue. My daughter was still so small, can not do without my father. The disease is not immediately dead and will not immediately attack, cancer and accidents is relatively better than that. And he is too poor, and if I did not help him he would go to extremes, we are husband and wife, before the disease should be stubbornly persists. Fortunately, my daughter are healthy ... ... the last one reason for me from despair to come out.
"I love him more than ever"
I was like, like cajole him to coax a child Quan Zhao him, until now the same. We are with any of the ordinary family is no different. Emotionally, we'd say better than ever before he was always busy business, less Gu, and now work at home wherever in time to help me to do housework, to accompany his daughter playing more and more love at home, socializing is also less. As usual, his last of his class, my last of my classes, and occasionally a little awkward what downtown the weekend we drove out to play together.
Others simply do not see anything, in fact, between us and rarely mentioned it. A normal married life, but more careful use of condoms, he was very careful, I'd not afraid. Every year I go to check on a regular basis antibodies, the most recent test are still healthy. Of course, the fear are some exceptions, mainly because of what he was opportunistic infections, but a good grounding his body now on eating the Government to give free medicine that temporarily did not find any problems.
As for the future, of course, should strive to make money, first, her children, the burden of increasing the second is to save money here, in case you can eat incidence of side effects point of medicine, may soon have to say can be cured it. At best, all things like chanting.