不能承受的心理之重


不能承受的心理之重
 
2009年01月16日 15:58:17   锦州晚报
 
 
揭示艾滋病咨询员的生活:
不能承受的心理之重



资料图:第二十一个世界艾滋病日,昆明市民驻足于防艾知识宣传栏前,学习防艾知识。据中新社
    豆子做咨询员一年多了,在这一年多里,她接待的300多名求询者让她仿佛阅尽了人间的悲欢离合,巨大的精神压力使她不得不依赖安眠药才能入睡。
    “2008年5月,四川汶川发生了大地震,疾控中心决定派人到抗震前线救灾。我是第一个报名参加的女医务人员。有人问我,你背得动45公斤重的喷雾器吗?我说,45公斤重的喷雾器能比我心理的压力更重吗?我想去抗震救灾,卸掉咨询工作的心理压力,哪怕只是短短的几天。可惜,我没有被批准。”
    豆子的话让人无言以对。
    在云南,有3000多人从事着和豆子一样的工作:艾滋病咨询员。他们有的是医务人员,有的是一些特殊人群:性工作者、有10多年吸毒经历者、艾滋病病毒感染者或艾滋病病人。但无论有着怎样的经历,他们都在做着同样的努力:帮助被艾滋病困扰的求询者重建信心,帮助他们坚强而有尊严地活下去。
    然而,很少有人知道,长期以来,这些在一线工作的艾滋病咨询员,不仅面临着待遇低、工作繁杂、精神负担重等问题,还因为他们所从事的工作而遭到同事、家人和社会的误解。
    “1000元可以治好艾滋病吗?”
    “姐姐,我出1000元可以治好艾滋病吗?”17岁的小花天真地问李曼,李曼愕然地半天说不出一句话。
    李曼是妇女健康活动中心的咨询员,针对性工作者进行艾滋病预防和治疗的行为干预是她的工作之一。在一次大规模筛查中,李曼见到了“属于低档次站桩一类”的性工作者小花。
    这名来自贵州贫困山区的女孩儿,14岁时被逼嫁给自己的表哥,因生下一个残疾男婴而被赶出家门,被同乡诱拐到云南从事性工作。在这里,老板把客人带来,钱由老板收,工资由老板保管。老板告诉她,来月经接客可以止痛,得了尖锐湿疣用刀片刮,用烟灰来止血,是否用安全套,由客人决定。小花向李曼述说自己的遭遇时,一直在哭,伤心地连说话都结结巴巴。小花不仅感染了艾滋病病毒,还患有其他一些性病,但她对这些病的危害一无所知。在李曼等人的帮助下,小花逃了出来,到一个小镇上接受治疗,并且有了一份工作。因为没有文化,她不知道艾滋病会给她的生活带来怎样的改变,她只想着多挣些钱给远在贵州山区的残疾儿子。直到今天,李曼对她的咨询还在继续。
    “我总会不由自主地走进她们的世界,并希望自己有超凡的能力,这让我的身心很累很累。”李曼说:“眼看着一个个弱小的姐妹先后离开人世,我总在想,她们去了哪里,以什么样的形态存在于什么样的空间?”
    与李曼一样从事咨询工作的凤洁也有同样的感受:她们的病是我心里永远的痛。”
    凤洁是一名有过吸毒经历的女性,借助戒毒药品“美沙酮”的帮助,她彻底远离了毒品。2006年,她注册了自己的“浴火工作室”,专门帮助那些女性性工作者。
    在凤洁帮助的人群中,有9人先后发病离开人世,她们中只有两个人死在病床上,其他有的死在厕所里,有的死在路边田间,每次都是凤洁给火化场打电话,殡葬人员过来时,总是脸色阴沉,眼露厌恶,并且不断地诅咒。
    一个叫灵巧的女孩临终前对凤洁说,死后想和妈妈待在一起。“只要用一个小盒子或矿泉水瓶装上一小捧骨灰,在妈妈的坟前,挖一个小洞,把我放进去就可以了。”在火化场,凤洁哀求殡葬工人给一烟盒骨灰,可工人冷冷地说:艾滋病,还想去传染别人?别浪费土地了。”在凤洁的再三哀求下,工人终于说:“100元一烟盒,200元两烟盒。要多少,你看着办。”凤洁递给他100元,从他手里接过一个裂着大口子的装着骨灰粉末的塑料袋,而那些粉末正哗哗地往地上漏着。
    “在我的姐妹眼中,死亡是‘寒冷、无助、孤魂’。她们中很多人生前被人唾弃和歧视,死后也得不到家人和社会的宽恕和谅解,这是人世间最悲哀的事。”说这话时,凤洁的眼睛一片迷茫。
    纯净的校园也抵挡不了HIV
    一名年轻人怯生生地走进咨询室,看着他那躲躲闪闪的目光,咨询员邱峰打破常规,直接问他是不是学生。年轻人惊讶地点点头。
    他吞吞吐吐地说:“最近,我长时间地拉肚子,体重急剧下降,我怀疑自己得了传染病。”
    邱峰知道,来咨询室的人,很少有人主动提到艾滋病。他问:“在学校,学习过艾滋病的传播途径和防护知识吗?”令邱峰意外的是,年轻人对此很清楚,但却“认为学生不接触社会,总体上很‘干净’。”
    这名大学生在学校有几个固定的性伙伴,因为认为学生不大与社会来往,不会有传染病,所以从不采取防护措施。当检测出HIV抗体为阳性时,年轻的大学生痛哭流涕。
    而另一名23岁的大四学生也面临了同样的遭遇。这名身高1.8米、担任学校篮球队队员的大学生是一名男男性行为者,在学校有几个性伙伴,他们之间从不使用安全套。当看到自己的HIV抗体检测是阳性时,他一下子昏倒在地。幸运的是,与他有过性关系的6名大学生“同志”经过检测,结果都是HIV抗体阴性。这名大学生不久后因为冲凉感冒导致感染不幸去世。他有一位坚强而宽容的母亲,从获悉病情到儿子去世,她都没有松开握着儿子的手。因为母爱的无私,这名大学生没有感到太多的压力和孤独。
    “学生是一个容易被忽略的群体。由于在学校得不到系统完善的性教育,不少学生对性传播疾病的认识浮浅。学生群体的高危行为是一个亟须重视的问题。”作为一名医生和母亲,雅丹在工作中常常有种心惊肉跳的感觉,看着被感染的人群中越来越多的年轻面孔,雅丹觉得自己的心很痛。
    一天,雅丹的咨询室里走进一个年轻人。他告诉雅丹,高中时他就有了性生活史,到大学毕业,已经有过10个以上的性伴侣。每次,他都很注意保护自己,但有一次他和一个在酒吧里认识的女孩做爱时,没用安全套,之后便出现了一些感染症状。当他的HIV抗体检测为阳性时,男孩瘫坐在地上,他哭着说:我的学习成绩一直很好,我正准备考研究生,想去北京念书。现在一切都没意义了,我没脸再见父母了。”之后,他又来找过雅丹几次,每来一次,人都瘦一圈。最后一次他是来向雅丹告别的。他说:“我要去赚很多钱给我的父母,用来弥补我的罪过。”
    看着和自己儿子年龄差不多的这名男孩,雅丹心如刀割。她决定通过QQ视频给在外读大学的儿子和宿舍里的男生做一次艾滋病防治的专门教育。令她吃惊的是,聊天中,男生们居然问了一些很无知的问题。“我们的许多父母还不知道,家庭教育或者性教育是帮助下一代远离艾滋病的最有效办法。在这方面,政府和学校所做的工作还远远不够。”她说:如著名防治艾滋病专家桂希恩所说,我们提出在大学设置安全套自动售卖机,提出给吸毒者提供一次性注射器,只是出于安全防护的考虑,并不代表认同其行为。”
    最大的不幸是孤独
    医生施兆芸面前坐着一对来自边远山区的年轻夫妇,妻子在怀第二胎产检时发现是HIV感染者,妊娠终止。这次,她带来了丈夫和3岁的孩子一起来做检测,当得知丈夫和孩子的HIV抗体检测也是阳性时,施兆芸看见含泪的妻子轻轻拉着丈夫的手说:“这样也好,省得谁先走了都伤心,我们开心地过好我们的日子就行了。”
    “那一刻,我真想流泪,不知道是为她的坚强、她的爱,还是她的无奈和无助。”施兆芸说。
    “艾滋病带来的强大破坏力远远超出了公共卫生专家和社会学家的预计。”在艾滋病咨询员这个岗位多年的他听到过太多的哭泣,而哭泣的背后是众多被疾病折磨的家庭。
    医生黄亚萍的咨询室里曾来过一个美丽的女人,她在孕期检查时,检查出HIV抗体呈阳性。在做了母婴阻断后,孩子健康出生。可是丈夫一直不能忍受,天天吵架要求离婚。在黄亚萍的帮助下,女人进入了一个专门为艾滋病病毒感染者提供心理支持的机构,和同伴们在一起,她慢慢变得开心乐观起来。可是有一天,她和丈夫发生争执后,在路上与一辆大货车相撞,没有挣扎,没有呻吟,她倒在血泊中。她所做的最后一件事,就是在两车相撞的一瞬间,将身上的孩子远远抛开。孩子大声地啼哭着,满脸是血。
    咨询员燕子曾帮助过一个病友,每次他都是一个人来医院打针,8个月里从没有亲朋好友陪伴和探望,他也从不对燕子谈论自己,总是与燕子客气地保持着距离。直到他奄奄一息、卧床不起的时候,他的妻子才终于出现。燕子建议她把丈夫转到云南省艾滋病关爱中心接受更专业的治疗,可是话没说完,这个漂亮的女人就打断了她:“我们一家,无论如何不会让人知道他得了艾滋病,宁可死,也不会。”
    几个月后,燕子接到这位妻子的电话,她说,丈夫已经走了,她恨他,因为他把病毒也传染给了她,但是,她还是放不下他,所以一直陪他走到生命的最后,现在,轮到她自己等待时间作出“最后的审判”了。
    燕子黯然神伤:他的病其实并不重,完全可以控制住。疾病最大的不幸是孤独,如果说艾滋病病毒感染者对活着失去信心,不如说他们是害怕失去人间平等的权利与关爱。”据《中国青年报》
Can not afford the heavy psychological
 
January 16, 2009 15:58:17 Jinzhou Evening News
 
 
 
To reveal the lives of AIDS counselors:
Can not afford the heavy psychological



Data: the twenty-first months of World AIDS Day, Kunming people stood in the AIDS awareness column before, learning AIDS knowledge. According to China
     Beans consultants do more than one year, in the past year, she received more than 300 persons seeking consultation let her make the world seem to read the悲欢离合, tremendous mental stress that she had to rely on sleeping pills in order to sleep.
     "May 2008, four川汶川earthquake occurred, CDC decided to send someone to seismic front-line disaster relief. I am the first woman enrolled in medical personnel. Some people have asked me, do you have to move back 45 kilograms heavier spray it? I say, 45 kilograms heavier than I aerosol can even heavier psychological pressure? I'd like to go to earthquake relief, dismantled consultation psychological pressure, if only just a few days. Unfortunately, I have not been approved. "
     Beans, then people have nothing more to say.
     In Yunnan, more than 3,000 people engaged in the same work and beans: AIDS counselors. They have medical staff, have a number of special populations: sex workers, have experienced more than 10 years of drug abuse, and HIV infection or AIDS patients. But no matter what kind of experience with, they are doing the same effort: to help troubled by AIDS who seek consultation to rebuild their confidence and help them strong and live with dignity.
     Nevertheless, very few people knew that a long time, these first-line AIDS counselors work, not only faced with low pay and poor working complex issues such as the spirit of the heavy burden, but also because they have been engaged in the work of colleagues, family and community misunderstanding.
     "1,000 yuan can be cured of AIDS?"
     "Sister, I am out of 1,000 yuan can be cured AIDS?" 17-year-old florets naively asked Lehman, Lehman stunned to say a half-day sentence.
     Lehman is the activities of women's health center consultants, targeted workers in AIDS prevention and treatment of behavioral intervention is one of her work. In a large-scale screening, Lehman saw a "low level站桩belong to a class of" sex workers florets.
     The poverty-stricken mountainous area in Guizhou from the girl, when 14-year-old forced to marry their cousin, due to give birth to a baby boy with disabilities have been evicted from their homes by fellow abduction to engage in sex work in Yunnan. Here, the owner of the guests bring the money from the owner of land, wages kept by the owner. The boss told her to pick menstruation can relieve pain, scored with a blade scraper Condyloma with soot to stop bleeding, whether or not to use condoms, the decision by the guests. Lehman florets to tell their own stories, has been crying, sad to even talk stammered. Flowers not only infected with the AIDS virus, also suffers from a number of other sexually transmitted diseases, but she knew nothing about the dangers of these patients. Lehman and others in with the help of flowers escaped to a small town for treatment, and have a job. Because there is no culture, she does not know that AIDS will bring about how her life changes, she would just like to forward to the far多挣些钱mountain in Guizhou disabled son. Even today, Lehman's advice to her is continuing.
     "I always involuntarily into their world, and hope that they have extraordinary ability, which made me very tired of the physical and psychological." Lehman said: "saw a weak sister has passed away, I always would like to, they gone to what exists in the form of what kind of space? "
     And Lehman engaged in consulting work, like Feng Jie also have the same feelings: they are the disease is pain in my heart forever. "
     Feng Jie, a there have been experienced by female drug addicts, with drug treatment, "methadone" help her to stay away from drugs completely. In 2006, she signed up for their own "studio ashes", specially designed to help those women sex workers.
     Feng Jie help in the crowd, the incidence of 9 people have passed away, they are only two people died in bed, the other of them died in the toilet, and some died in a roadside field, each time for cremation Feng Jie field phone calls from funeral staff always looked gloomy, eyes open and offensive, and continue to curse.
     One is called smart girls dying before the Feng Jie said that after the death of her mother wanted to be together. "As long as a small box or bottled mineral water on a small holding ashes, in her mother's grave, dug a small hole and put my opinions on the can." In the cremation grounds, Feng Jie implore workers to a funeral ashes cigarette case , can be coldly workers said: AIDS, others also want to spread? Do not waste land. "In Feng Jie's repeated pleas, the workers finally said:" 100 yuan a cigarette case, 200 per two-cigarette case. How much, you看着办. "Feng Jie gave him 100 yuan, from a crack in his hands to take over the large hole in the plastic bag containing powder ashes, and those powders are哗哗to leak to the ground.

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