马女士和张女士是妯娌，两人都30岁左右。双双因丈夫吸毒感染了艾滋病病毒。马女士的丈夫也是因为艾滋病去世的。目前她们都接受了抗病毒治疗。由于家中缺少劳动力，2亩地都由两人打理。幸运的是，她们的孩子在艾滋病检测中都呈阴性。妯娌俩一起来到大理市第二人民医院领取当地妇联的慰问品。
在现实中寻爱无望，数以万计的单身艾滋感染者，通过网络汇集成一股交友、征婚的人流。这些同病相怜者，相爱，相互温暖，但结婚生子依旧是个无望的奢望。
南都周刊特约记者_莫忘初 河南报道
真相宛如一把利刃，射入罗芳的脑门，削光了她仅存的视力，也切断了她的婚姻。
这个公认为全村长得最漂亮的美女，在她的体内，艾滋这个恶魔，已经滋生了12年。
1997年，在一家公司担任出纳的罗芳，有一个稳定的工作，有一个寻常的小家庭。一个小手术，改变了她的命运，爱情和婚姻也转了个弯。因为甲状腺亢进，在河南安阳一家军医院，罗芳做了切除手术。医生替她输入了一袋不必要的血浆。出院之后，罗芳开始发烧、呕吐、腹泻，这些症状，在她看来只是手术后遗症，并不以为意。到了2002年，她的左眼上方开始出现阴影，视力迅速退化。
罗芳说，2002年医生抽血就检查出她感染了艾滋病毒，但是家人不敢告诉她实情，直到2005年，艾滋病毒侵犯到视神经，抢走了她眼中所有的光后，家人才对她说了实情：“你开刀输血时感染了艾滋病”。
那双被同学戏称为“会说话的大眼睛”，如今暗淡无光，艾滋病毒在她的体内流窜狂欢，使得她走路经常跌倒，撞得全身都是伤。在孤绝的黑暗中，艾滋让她失去了方向，也吓跑了她的前夫，还有她的婚姻。
这个河南信阳女人，只能一个人与病魔相抗争。相比这个疾病的无药可医，她对爱情与婚姻的渴望，更是无望中的奢望。
根据台湾露德协会的统计，在台湾的1.8万多艾滋感染者当中，约有66%仍是单身。在中国大陆，已知的艾滋感染者有70万，还有44万人不知道自己感染艾滋病。他们的婚姻状况，目前仍缺乏相关的调研数据。
在这个以青壮年为主体的艾滋患者群落中，谈恋爱、结婚生子似乎成了遥不可及的梦想。没有媒人敢给罗芳们牵红线，艾滋吓跑一切健康的求婚者。在交通与信息不发达的偏远农村，因卖血而感染艾滋的王燕、赵伟，在各自丧偶之后，凑成了一个组合家庭。
而在城市，随着感染人数的递增，情欲生活成了不可压制的人性爆发，网络成了一个出口。一群年纪从19岁到45岁之间的年轻病友们，自行筹组单身感染者联谊会，开设艾滋感染者专属的交友网站与征婚留言板。在无远弗届的网络世界里，数以万计的艾滋感染者们，在网络中寻找爱与被爱的机会。
35岁的罗芳，找到了她的老吴，同样是残疾人，同样是艾滋患者。
罗芳与老吴
11月的郑州下起了小雪，晚饭过后，罗芳穿上了棉袄，摸黑算着步伐走下阶梯，巧妙地避开堆放在楼梯间的黑煤球，到医院探访新进住院的艾滋病友。在走进每一间病房时，罗芳努力地挂起笑容，让沮丧的病友们看见自己脸上的阳光。
2005年，罗芳被聘请到“关爱之家”郑州工作站，为远道而来就医的农村贫困艾滋病感染者们，提供咨询服务与宣导教育。在那里，罗芳学会了使用盲人计算机，认识了同样被丈夫抛弃的25岁女病友赵琳，还有爱情。
3年前，罗芳给赵琳介绍了一位同样是艾滋患者的单身男性，两人一见钟情，交往不久后就办理了结婚登记手续。消息传开后，许多单身的艾滋感染者，都嚷着要罗芳当红娘。罗芳和朋友组建了一个单身艾滋感染者联谊会，为失婚或者单身的艾滋患者们寻找合适的伴侣。
年过三旬的罗芳，在给别人牵红线的同时，也开始追求自己的爱情。她说，我要健康地活着。
利用盲人计算机，罗芳和远在四川的老吴对上了眼。
老吴是名艾滋感染者，也是不良于行的残疾人，同样因为在医院开刀输血感染了艾滋病毒。只是，老吴可以从视频上看到罗芳，但是罗芳看不见他。罗芳找来了朋友，帮忙瞧瞧老吴长啥样子。
长相敦厚的老吴，过了罗芳第一道关。在网络上谈了两个月后，老吴坚持要到郑州来看看心上人。他们的爱情在铁路线上。在交往的两年多时间里，这对恋人见过8次面，老吴来郑州7次，罗芳去过四川1次。
分居两地的爱情，即使健康人，也是格外艰辛，更何况艾滋患者们，还得经受疾病和身体残疾的双重考验。“我们很少吵架，因为我们两个都是残疾人，特别能体会到彼此内心所受的痛苦与煎熬。就算吵架了，都是他让我比较多。”罗芳缓缓说出这份小心呵护、苦乐并存的爱情。
同样是网络，让19岁的河南驻马店艾滋青年陈刚，第一次品尝到了爱情的青涩与甜蜜。
9岁那年，陈刚因车祸住院，输血不慎感染了艾滋病。2年前，艾滋症状出现，陈刚只能高中休学，在家养病，网络成了他的世界。
刚发病的时候，陈刚整天把自己锁在家里，甚至连“艾滋病“这三个字都不想听见，担心自己遭到亲友的歧视与同学的排斥。“心情“不好的他，就用“幽魂”的名字登入QQ，结果加了好几个艾滋病友的群。“和他们在一起聊天可以无拘无束，没有隔膜，可以让我忘记一切不愉快的事。”陈刚说，在网络上交朋友，让他看透了人生，其实生命就是一场旅程，不在乎目的地！
被遗忘的笑容又重新回到陈刚的脸上，让他更快乐的是，在网络上认识了一“键”钟情的QQ病友小静。“我和她感觉还挺好的，总是在QQ上打着键盘‘聊天’，前一段时间她来看过我一次，我们还有很多病友在一块聚餐了，感觉很快乐。”
组合家庭
35岁的罗芳和老吴，19岁的陈刚和小静，只是众多同病相“联”的艾滋情侣之一，他们走出了网络的虚拟世界之后，牵牵手，谈谈恋爱，少了一份把艾滋病传染给对方的罪恶感。
36岁的河南农民赵伟种了一辈子的小麦和玉米，卖了好多年的血，都还买不起一台计算机，因为同病相怜才和同村的王燕兜成了一个组合家庭。艾滋的现实，令他们将爱情至于身后，相互扶持、走完人生是他们最大的希望。
在河南郑州市第六医院，局限的病房挤下了3张病床，小小的病床上躺了两个人。床下还放着一个脸盆、一条旧毛巾和两件随身行李。
“咳，呸……，哎呦……“，听到妻子王燕在吐完痰之后仍不住呻吟，赵伟赶紧弹坐起身，替妻子擦脸、拍背。
“我们是‘组合家庭’，我和我的老婆，她（王燕）和她的老公都卖血，我们都感染了（艾滋）。我老婆死了，她爱人也走了，我的儿子已经感染了艾滋，王燕的女儿还没确诊，看着孩子们都没人照顾，我们就在一起了。”赵伟说。
面黄肌瘦的王燕，从今年9月再度发病低烧迄今，已经无法进食。贫病交迫的夫妻俩，只得忍痛把孩子们送到河南商水县的爱之学校读书。陪着王燕住院治疗的赵伟，也得靠输液维持体力，一个病人照顾另一个病人。
在中国旧的《婚姻登记管理办法》和新的《婚姻登记条例》中，都没有禁止艾滋病人结婚的相关条例。对于婚前检查出感染艾滋病者而言，婚检医师只是在婚检报告中提出“建议采取医学措施，尊重受检者意愿”的建议，艾滋感染者依然有婚姻自主权。
尽管如此，已经因为艾滋病而失去另一半的赵伟和王燕，却不打算去办结婚登记，取得拿一张结婚证。
“吃吧，多少吃一点才有体力啊！”站在病床边的赵伟，从手中的塑料袋里拔下一块小面包，送到王燕嘴边伺候着她吞下肚。原本皱着眉头的王燕，摇摇头表示自己吞不下，却努力撑起身体坐起身来，对着前来探视的罗芳点头微笑。
“唉，我们忙着从农村到城里来看病，来回一趟交通费和住院费都是借的，大人都快照顾不了自己，两个娃儿又不在身边，哪里还有精神去办一张结婚证呢？”听见赵伟的话，王燕想起了孩子，当着罗芳的面安静地流泪。
对穷到只剩下爱的同病鸳鸯而言，能够活着呼吸已经是奢侈的幸福。在以青壮年和农民居多的艾滋感染者群体里，艾滋组合家庭的情况已经不是新鲜事，至于有多少类似的组合家庭，迄今仍无法估算。
他们不去想未来
在艾滋公益论坛、艾滋病人交友互助网、淘宝交友、深圳赶集网……，还有更多担心遭到社会大众排斥与歧视的艾滋感染者们，在网络上汇集成一股交友、征婚的人流，在“这里没有歧视，没有冷漠的眼光”的口号中，他们交流、取暖。
“本人26岁大学本科学历，从事财务工作，希望今年找个艾滋病女友，今年结婚，一起携手抵抗病魔，相互微笑走完人生，最好是长三角城市的……。”艾滋病友“李大哥”直接在网络上留言，公开征婚。
一位署名“不求同生但求共眠”的网友要找另一半，“患者本来就很孤单，现在自己得了这个病也不想再去害人，只希望能找到和自己一起继续走下去的人，在这样的情况下，也需要感情，我是广西的，不求同生，但求共眠……”
“我是今年9月份确诊的，我是Gay(同性恋)，在西安工作，对朋友的要求是希望找到能真诚相处，共同走完剩下不多的时光的BF(男朋友)。”同志网友“想飞”希望透过交友留言板觅得知心伴侣。
对于不敢轻易在人前曝光的艾滋感染者而言，快速便利的网络征婚与交友虽然有其隐密性，却也可能是滋生犯罪的温床。罗芳说，她曾在QQ聊天网认识了一位艾滋病患，双方只通过网络打字交谈，连面都没有见过，对方就以要买房子为借口向她借钱。“这种不真诚的人，聊过几句话就知道了，‘唰’一下就被我踢(删)掉了。”
爱情，对于他们这些身患没有解药的疾病者而来，是安慰剂，也是甜蜜的负担。虽然艾滋感染者结婚并不违法，老吴对罗芳也十分疼爱，但是四川和河南之间的路途遥远，这段网络恋爱依旧充满着许多远“惧”考验。
“我们去年想过结婚的事，但是老吴对河南的天气和生活习惯都不适应，如果我嫁过去，该如何和他的家人相处？我在四川也没有其他朋友。”罗芳心里明白，未来的公公婆婆，能否接受一个看不见的艾滋媳妇，也是一大问题。
对于这一份得来不易的网络恋爱，罗芳的心中依然充满忐忑，眼看着就快要过农历年了，今年会不会嫁给老吴？这段感情能否坚持下去？想起了这些问题，罗芳轻叹了一声：“人生中有很多事情，怎么努力，计划都赶不上变化，我和他都是病人，日后万一发病了，该由谁来照顾谁呢？”
“只要活着，就是一种抗争。”罗芳只能安慰自己，目前她体内的病毒量突然攀升到28万多，CD4只剩下200左右，她得先调养好自己的身体，才有足够的体力继续经营爱情。
同样需要积蓄体力的，还有陈刚。
他每年都要到郑州两次，做例行的血液检查。“我上次在郑州检查的CD4是200多，医生说恢复得还行，之前在我家检查的可能不准确。我想到收麦子的时候再去郑州一趟。”
对于他与小静的未来，陈刚直言，自己没有想过，也不敢去想。
结婚生子，这个人生大事，在没有解药的艾滋恶魔前，对他们来说，太沉重了。（应采访者要求，本文除罗芳外，其余采访者均化名）
Network "Ai" Love
2009-12-07 10:26 South Du Weekly
Ms. Ma and Ms. Zhang is the sister-, both 30 years old. Both drugs because of their husbands are infected with HIV. Ma's husband, also died because of AIDS.Because his family were the lack of labor, two acres of land by the two take care of. Fortunately, their children were tested negative for HIV detection. Sister-both came together Dali City Second People's Hospital to receive the gifts of local Women's Federation.
In reality, no hope of finding love, tens of thousands of single HIV-infected person, through the network into one single friends, Zhenghun flow. These same boat who love each other warm, but married with a child still is a hopeless ambition.
Southern Weekly correspondent _ Forget all the early reports of Henan
Truth is like a sharp blade Luofang injected into the forehead, cutting-ray of her remaining vision, but also cut off her marriage.
The longer recognized as the most beautiful village beauty, in her body, the HIV this demon has been the breeding ground for 12 years.
In 1997, at a company, cashier's Luofang, there is a stable job, there is an unusual small family. A minor operation to change her fate, love and marriage turn a corner. Because hyperthyroidism, a military hospital in Anyang, Henan, Luo Fang do surgery. Doctors entered the bag for her unnecessary plasma. Following discharge, the Luofang started fever, vomiting, diarrhea, these symptoms, but surgical complications, in her view, do not complain. By 2002, her left eye began to appear at the top of the shadow of rapid deterioration of vision.
Luo Fang said that in 2002, a doctor would check out her blood infected with the HIV virus, but the family did not dare tell her the truth, until 2005, the HIV infringe on the optic nerve and took away all the light of her eyes, after family members told her the truth: "You are infected with HIV during blood transfusion surgery."
Pair were classmates nicknamed "talking eyes", is now lost its luster, the HIV virus in her body flows carnival, allowing her to walk often fall, Zhuangde body are injured. In the loneliness of the darkness, she lost the direction of HIV, but also scare off her ex-husband, and her marriage.
The Henan Xinyang woman, only one person to struggle with the disease. Comparison of this disease is no cure, her desire for love and marriage is even more hopeless in luxury.
According to the Taiwan Association of Lourdes statistics in Taiwan, more than 18,000 HIV-infected people, about 66% is still single. In mainland China, the known HIV-infected and 70 million with 44 million people infected with HIV do not know. Of their marital status, is still a lack of relevant research data.
In the adults as the main body of the HIV patient community, the love, marriage and having children seems to be an unrealistic dream. Did not dare to Luofang their matchmaker matchmaker, the HIV scare away all the health suitors. In transportation and information developed in remote rural areas, a result of selling blood infected with HIV of Wang Yan, Zhao Wei, in their respective widowed, the make up of a combination of the family.
In urban areas, with the increasing number of infections, life becomes a passion of human nature can not suppress the outbreak, the network has become an export. Age group from 19 years old to 45 years old, she has a young, self-association to form a single infection, HIV-infected persons set up a dedicated social networking site and Zhenghun message board. In network of far-reaching world, tens of thousands of HIV-infected persons who have in the network to find opportunities to love and be loved.
35-year-old Luo Fang, and found her Old Wu, also disabled, is also HIV patients.
Luo Fang and Old Wu
In November it began to snow in Zhengzhou, after dinner, Luofang wore cotton-padded jacket, dark count the steps down the ladder, artfully stacked in the stairwell to avoid the black briquettes, to the hospital to visit New AIDS patients in hospital. Walks into each room, Luofang hard to hang a smile, so depressed, she has to see the sun from his face.
In 2005, Luo Fang was hired to the "Care House" Zhengzhou workstation for medical treatment to visitors from the rural poor HIV-infected persons who provide advisory services and advocacy education. Where the blind Luofang learned how to use computers, understand the same has been abandoned by her husband of 25-year-old female sufferers Zhao Lin, as well as love.
3 years ago, Luo Fang Lin Zhao, introduced to the HIV-1 is also a single male patients, two love at first sight, contacts handled shortly after the marriage registration. After the news spread, many single HIV-infected people are clamoring for Luofang playing matchmaker. Luofang and friends formed a single HIV-infected Association for the divorced or single, HIV patients are looking for a suitable partner.
Over the San Xun Luo Fang, the matchmaker, while others have begun to pursue their love. She said that I would like to live healthily.
The use of blind computer, Luo Fang, and as far away as Old Wu Sichuan on the right eye.
Old Wu is the name of HIV-infected persons, but also bad at the line of people with disabilities, the same surgery in the hospital because of blood transfusion infected with HIV. Just that, Old Wu Luofang can see from the video, but Luofang see him. Luofang recruited a friend, to help look at Old Wu Chang-Sha Yangzi.
Appearance of the Old Wu Tun-hou, and have a Luofang first off. On the network about two months later, Old Wu insisted to go to Zhengzhou to see sweetheart. They love the railway line. In the exchanges between more than two years, which the couple met eight times face, Old Wu to Zhengzhou seven times, been to Sichuan Luofang 1.
Separation between the two places of love, even if the healthy people, but also extremely difficult, not to mention HIV patients who have had to withstand disease and the dual test of physical disability. "We have very little quarrel, because we both are people with disabilities, in particular, can understand each other's inner pain and torment suffered. Even if the quarrel, it's all he asked me are more." Luofang slowly say the cautious care , emotions and love co-exist.
Similarly, the network, so that 19-year-old HIV-Henan Zhumadian Youth Gang, the first taste of love Sentimental and sweet.
9-year-old that year, Chen Gang, was hospitalized due to accident, blood transfusion accidentally infected with the AIDS virus. 2 years ago, AIDS symptoms, Chen Gang, only high school drop out, rest and recuperation at home, the network became his world.
Newly onset time, Chen Gang, themselves locked in the house all day, even the "AIDS" did not want to hear these three words, worried that their relatives had been students of exclusion and discrimination. "Mood" is no good, he would use "ghost" sign in the name of QQ, the results of addition of several AIDS patients and subgroups. "And you can chat with them unrestrained, there is no divide, I can forget all the unpleasant things." Chen said, the network turned over to a friend, let him see through in life, in fact, life is a journey not just a destination!
Forgotten smile again returned to Chen Gang's face, let him happier is that in the network to know a "key" in love with a small static QQ sufferers. "She and I felt kinda good, and always the name of QQ on the keyboard 'chat', some time ago that she look at me once, we have a lot of sufferers at a dinner, and feeling very happy."
Portfolio Home
35-year-old Luo Fang and Old Wu, 19-year-old Chen Gang, and small static, but many with the disease relative to the "coat" of the HIV-couple, one of them out of the virtual world, after the network, a chain in hand, talking about love, stripped of one transmission of AIDS to each other's guilt.
36-year-old farmer from Henan province Zhao kinds of a lifetime of wheat and corn, sell a good many years of blood, still can not afford a computer, because the same boat before, and Wang Yan, the same village has become a combination of the family pocket. The reality of AIDS, so that they would love As for the behind, mutual support, has completed life is their greatest hope.
Zhengzhou City in Henan sixth hospital wards limitations squeeze down the three beds, a small bed lay two people. Also under the bed stood a basin, an old towel and two carry-on baggage.
"Oh, Pooh ... ..., Ai You ... ...", to hear his wife, Wang Yan, still do not live in the Tu Wan moaning after sputum, Zhao bombs quickly sat up, on behalf of his wife, facial, shot back.
"We are a 'combination of the family', I and my wife, she (Wang Yan) and her husband were selling blood, we are infected with (HIV). My wife is dead, her lover has gone, my son has been infected with HIV, Wang Yan, the daughter has not confirmed, looking at nobody to take care of the kids, we had together. "Zhao said.
Wang Yan, pale and thin, from the incidence of low-grade fever again in September of this year so far has been unable to eat. Destitute of the husband and wife, only reluctantly sent their children to the love of Shangshui County of Henan Province school. Wang Yan, Zhao Wei, accompanied hospitalization, but also rely on fluids to maintain strength and to take care of a patient to another patient.
In China the old "Marriage Registration Regulations" and the new "Marriage Registration Regulations" do not prohibit marriage of AIDS-related regulations. For the pre-marital check out the HIV-infected persons, pre-marital examination doctors only in pre-marital examination report, that "recommended medical measures to respect the wishes of subjects" proposal, HIV-infected persons still have marital autonomy.
Nevertheless, because of AIDS have been lost and the other half of the Zhao Wei, Wang Yan, has no intention of running a marriage registration, access to get a marriage certificate.
"Eat, how much to eat that have the strength to ah!" Standing bedside Zhao, unplug from the hands of a small plastic bag of bread and sent Wang Yan, wait on her mouth swallow. Wang Yan, the head of the original frowning, shook his head and said he was no less than swallow, but efforts to prop up the body sat up, facing the coming visit of the Luofang nod and smile.
"Oh, we are busy from the countryside to the city to see the doctor, round trip transportation costs and hospital expenses are borrowed, and adults can not be faster to take care of themselves, not in two Waer side, where there is a spirit of running a marriage certificate do? "heard the words of Zhao, Yan Wang thought of children, in front of face Luofang quiet tears.
Only love of the poor to the same disease with mandarin ducks, being able to breathe alive is a luxury well-being. In a predominantly young adults and farmers groups of HIV-infected persons, the HIV situation in the family portfolio is not nothing new, as to how many similar combinations of the family, it remains impossible to calculate.
They do not think about the future
In HIV-public forum, AIDS mutual friends network Taobao friends, Shenzhen, Go Network ... ..., there is more fear of public rejection and discrimination of HIV infected persons who on the network into one single friends, Zhenghun of people, In the "Here there is no discrimination, no cold eye" slogan, they exchange and heating.
"I am 26 years old a bachelor's degree, engaged in financial work, hoping to find AIDS this year, his girlfriend this year, get married, work hand in hand to resist diseases, mutual smiling race of life, the best cities in the Yangtze River Delta ... ...." AIDS patients "Lee Big Brother" directly on the network message, open Zhenghun.
A signed "non-seeking, but seeking a total of sleeping with the health" of the User to find the other half, "Patients have been very lonely, and now his got the disease is also tired of doing so, and only hope to find and to carry on with their own people, in such cases, they need emotional, I was in Guangxi, and not seeking the same health, but to sleep a total of ... ... "
"I was diagnosed in September of this year, I am Gay (homosexual), in Xi'an, work on a friend's request is to find a sincere wish to live together walk the remaining few moments of the BF (boyfriend)." Comrade User "Fly" I hope through the message board to find intimate dating partner.
For not easily exposed in front of others in terms of HIV-infected persons, rapid and convenient Internet Dating & Personals despite its secrecy, but it may be breeding ground for crime. Luo Fang said that she had met a QQ chat network suffering from AIDS, the two sides to talk only by typing the network, even the sides have not seen the other side in order to buy a house as an excuse to borrow money to her. "The bad faith of the people, chat had several words to know, 'Shua' what was I kicked (deleted) lost."
Love, for them there is no antidote to those suffering from the illness is a placebo, but also sweet burden. Although the HIV-infected persons marriage is not illegal, Old Wu of Luofang very love, but the Sichuan and Henan, the distance between, this network is still full of love, many far from "fear" test.
"Last year we thought about marriage thing, but the Old Wu Henan weather and living habits are not adapted, if I marry in the past, how to get along with his family? I have no other friends in Sichuan." Luofang knew the future The grandfathers and grandmothers, whether to accept an invisible HIV-wife is also a big problem.
For that this is a network of hard-won love, Luofang hearts are still full of apprehension, she looks forward to going over the Lunar New Year, and will marry this year, Old Wu? Can this feeling persist? Thought of these issues, Luo Fang Qing Tan uttered: "There are many things in life, how hard they try, plans are not keep up with change, he and I were sick, in the future if the incidence of, and harder to take care of who?"
"As long as alive, was a protest." Luofang only console themselves, the current amount of the virus she suddenly climbed to more than 280,000, CD4 only 200 or so, she must first nursed back to your body, have sufficient strength continue to operate love.
Also need physical strength, their savings, as well as Chen Gang.
Zhengzhou, he goes to twice a year to do a routine blood test. "I last checked in Zhengzhou CD4 is 200, the doctor said that recovery was still OK, before my home inspection may be inaccurate. I think when the wheat received Zaiqu Zhengzhou trip."
The small quiet about his future, Chen Gang, frankly, he did not thought about, did not dare to think about.
Marry and have children, this life event, in the absence of HIV antidote to the devil before, for them, too heavy. (Should be the interviewer asked, this paper except Luofang, the other interview caught her real name)
